My Honest Review of The Other Black Girl

I cannot wait to sit down this weekend and watch 'Another Black Girl' on Hulu and hope that it is able to capture what I think is a good message within the book. If you look at online reviews you can see that the book elicits some pretty strong responses from people. But all in all I would give it 3.8 and I thought that it was an interesting read. Hopefully the review for the show will be over 4!

Listen below to my review on YouTube.

So did you read the book? Are you planning on reading it. Why or why not?

My 10 Favorite Christmas Songs of All Time

Ah Christmas! I have a love/hate relationship with this time of year. I, of course, love spending time with my family and friends for the holidays, but the crowds. Oh the crowds drive me insane! I absolutely do not set foot in Wal-Mart or any mall/shopping plaza/ outlet store at this time of year unless it is absolutely necessary. This, coupled with the fact that money is extemely tight for me this season, adds to the distress. Yes I know that it is not supposed to be about the gifts, but who doesn't like to buy for all of the kiddos.

Anyway, to get myself into the Christmas spirit I am going to play my favorite songs that always seem to get me into the holiday mood. Starting with Boyz II Men. Although this is a relatively newer Christmas song it has quickly become a staple and will be a classic (in my opinion). I'm sure the grandkids will be listening to this like I listen to The Temptations :)

1. Let It Snow*

2. All I Want for Christmas Is You *(Mariah Carey). You know it's Christmas time when the department stores start playing this. Did you know that she has a book for this song? I just found that out. 
                                                            

3. Santa Baby* A definite classic. I've heard that there is a new spin on this song, but I'm good with the original version.

4. What Will The Lonely Do. I have loved this song since I was a little girl and sang it like I had lost the love of my life even though I had no idea what the lyrics even meant. Lol!

5. Every Year, Every Christmas (Luther Vandross)*. Luther was someone who could sing the phone book and make it sound appealing. This song is a 'newer' classic heavy in my rotation.

6. Gee Whiz It's Christmas. A short song but I've always loved it. My aunt's sang it one Christmas which adds to the holiday memories.

                                              

7. The Christmas Song Nat King Cole* Who doesn't love this song? If you don't you might need to have your Grinch removed. :)

8. Give Love on Christmas Day (New Edition)* Being a huge NE fan I, at one time, had this album. Probably was a tape. Who knows what happened to it.

                                 

9. Christmas Ain't Christmas Without the Ones You Love. - O'Jays

10. Silent Night (Tempations). In my opinion this is the best Christmas song ever made. The ultimate and I always have to listen to it to end Christmas day. 

                                 

A few other classics:

• The Jackson 5 I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus
• Santa Come Straight to the Ghetto James Brown
• Stevie Wonder The Little Drummer Boy

This CEO Gets That Workers Need to Be Paid More Why Don't Others?

A friend and I were discussing wages the other day and one of my pet peeves is companies in America that make billions of dollars and their employees need public assistance (here's looking at you Amazon). How can this happen? I think it's because the heads of companies really don't know (or care to know) how much their employees are making and what it costs to actually live comfortably today.

One need only to look at job postings to see that companies are clueless about the actual cost of living. There are so many jobs that are starting out at $12 or $13 an hour that it is laughable. Have you seen the cost of apartments these days? Don't get me started about car insurance.

I just watched a video of Aetna's CEO Mark Bertolini where he talks about the fact that he had no idea that some of his employees were on public assistance, but when he found out he raised their wages and the company didn't lose money! Diane asked the question that I have asked so many times which is why don't more companies do this then. I mean, you need only look at companies like Starbucks, Chick-Fil-A, Publix etc to see that you can have higher prices, pay your workers more, have some great incentives and still make money. Other companies need to take notice because we can't go on like this much longer in this country.

See the clip below

Interesting reads:

Am I Too 'Independent' To Find Mr. Right?

I came across this video on YouTube 'Why Ms. Independent Can't Find Mr. Right' (see video below) and was like 'Wow!'. Although I have never considered myself to be the stereotypical Mrs. Independent who goes around saying I don't need a man, don't want one, and has a problem with a man helping me - I couldn't help but notice that I did have some of the qualities that she outlined in her video. Mainly, the one about being in a rush when I'm in the store. I am definitely a 'get in and get out' kind of person. I'm usually in another world with my mind all over the place so I don't engage in my environment. 

I have been saying that with the online dating that I needed to start initiating more when I see someone that I find interesting. However, like she said in the video, I am over online dating (and I just started a week ago) Lol! I would so much rather meet someone organically as I don't know if my personality really comes through on my profile (or maybe I need a professional to write it for me).

I like the technique that she goes over in this video though. She calls it the 'You Choose He Chases'. I am definitely going to use that. I usually don't have a problem flirting if I am really interested, but this approach that she has is a great way to break the ice and see if there is chemistry between you and the guy. I need to get me some cards though :)

Books you may be interested in*:

Never Chase Men Again: 38 Dating Secrets To Get The Guy, Keep Him Interested, And Prevent Dead-End Relationships

F*CK Him! - Nice Girls Always Finish Single - "A guide for sassy women who want to get back in control of their love life" (The Truth about his weird ... of commitment and sudden loss of interest)

 10 Things Every Woman Needs to Know About Men: Understand His Mind And Capture His Heart

*Books are affiliate links but this post is not sponsored, all opinions are my own.

5 Second Rule Challenge Getting Up Earlier

So I've been listening to Mel Robbin's The 5 Second Rule because there are certain things in my life that I know that I need to do, but I have been hesitating and I wanted to break myself out of that bad habit. The book talks about how to break yourself out of the vicious cycle of having an idea, knowing that you should act on that idea, not doing anything about it and then beating yourself up for your inaction. Something that Mel says in the book is that when you hesitate you are actively working against your dreams.

I am part-way through the book and at the end of the section that I am on she talks about the challenge of setting your alarm 30 minutes earlier and breaking the habit of hitting the snooze. I of course already knew that waking up earlier makes you more productive and allows you to get more done and have read it in several books about goal setting. I even wrote about it here on this blog. But the usual happened: you get inspired to do something while you are reading a book, listening to a podcast, watching a YouTube video, etc then the moment passes.

One of the points that she makes in the book that I really like is this- she basically says that motivation is garbage. You are not going to always feel like doing the things that you need to do. World class athletes don't train only when they feel like it. We are beings that go off of feeling and we do the things that we feel like doing. We go to the gym when we feel like it, we eat what we feel like eating, etc. The 5 second rule is a way to force yourself to do the things that you need to do whether you feel like it or not. The wake up challenge is a start to that process because if you can conquer your day then you are well on your way to achieving your goals.

So I set my alarm for 6:15 this morning, which on a Sunday morning was not something I was exactly excited about. I got up, got dressed and went and got me a cup of coffee ready to plan my day. One thing I realized is that although I didn't initially want to get up, I am refreshed at the thought of starting my day with more time. My goal is by the end of the week to start my day at 5:30.

Here is a video of Mel talking about how she finally got herself to stop hitting the snooze button. 

Book Recommendations:

What the Most Successful People Do Before Breakfast: And Two Other Short Guides to Achieving More at Work and at Home - I've read this book and it's a really great read.

Design Your Day: Be More Productive, Set Better Goals, and Live Life On Purpose - Great reviews

The Now Habit: A Strategic Program for Overcoming Procrastination and Enjoying Guilt-Free Play - Sounds interesting and has great reviews. 

**Book links are affiliate links but all opinions are my own

Let's Be Honest Dating After 40 Totally Sucks Lol

Yeah, yeah, yeah I know I should have a better attitude, but I definitely feel like I'm riding a bike that's on fire lol. Hey, I'm just being honest. I think that's why it has taken me a while to get back into the game. The thought of dating just puts me in a not so great state of mind.

Don't get me wrong, I definitely like being in a relationship, but the whole finding someone to be in a relationship part is what I am exactly excited about. You would think that dating would get easier as you get older. Afterall, you are in a place (or should be) where you know what you want. You should be done with the figuring it out part by a certain stage in your life, but yet far too many people don't have the ability to articulate what type of relationship they want or if they want one at all.

But now that I have gotten my rant out of the way, I know that I have to change my mindset or I shouldn't even bother with dating. I definitely believe in the power that your thinking (positive or otherwise) has on the outcome of your life. So I am vowing from this point forward to do whatever I have to do to change my mindset about this very necessary step that I am taking in this point that of my life.

I read in this article online that one way to stay positive is to think of each date as a learning experience. That works well for me since I believe that every experience that you have in life puts you closer to where you need to be in your life. So with that in mind, I'm going to put on my happy face, maybe listen to 'Happy' by Pharrell and get to it! :)




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Is Warren Buffet Right About More Money and Happiness?

So I'm sure you've heard by now that a couple of months ago Warren Buffett said that money wasn't the key to happiness and that he enjoyed the days when he had a fraction of his net worth. My first thought was, "Okay then give me one of them billions and see how happy I am" Lol. He is currently worth 91.1 Billion dollars. BILLION dollars. 

He then went on to give an example that if you have $100,000 you're not going to be that much happier if you get $1,000,000. (source) Okay, if that's what you say. As it turns out though there may be something to what he is saying. I read  recently that there is a level (mid $100,000 for a single person) where making more than that is not going to make you that much happier. They said that it was that you are going to look around and see people making twice what you make who have more. On the other hand, in a recent published study of 4,000 millionaires it was found that more money did lead to more happiness (source). THIS, I can definitely believe.😄

All in all, I think that it depends on how happy you are before you get the money. If you are a miserable person who is always miserable, then more money is probably not going to make you happier. However, if you are someone who is hustling to make ends meet, works hard but still tries to have a little fun along the way, then you will appreciate the money more and it will probably make you more happy. Mainly because I think these people would probably not define themselves by their money and have a greater purpose in life.

This whole discussion for me came about when I sourced Buffett: The Making of An American Capitalist* for my eBay store. (You can read the reviews on Amazon HERE*)

So would more money make you happier? If so, how much more?

                                 

*Links are affiliate links so I will receive a small commission of any purchases.